“Its OK if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.” -Colette Werden
What sets your soul on fire?
I started this blog to share what inspires me. What inspires DRIFT. I can only assume the majority of you reading this blog know about DRIFT, but for those of you who don’t - DRIFT is an online women’s clothing boutique out of Dayton, Ohio that my husband and I started in November of 2017.
Starting DRIFT has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. It is incredibly scary and continues to have its challenges, but I will never regret taking this leap.
Ok, so here is my heart on my sleeve.
Figuring out what to do on a daily basis has been challenging. The clothes have been purchased, the site is live, and now… what?
One of the biggest challenges for me personally has been the freedom. Yes, the very thing I wished for and desired the most is the very thing paralyzing me. I have time to do whatever I see fit in helping DRIFT get off the ground. We don’t have a storefront, so it’s not like I go to work behind a register from 10am-6pm waiting for customers to ring a bell as they walk through the door. I am here at our house in front of all the tuffs of dog hair Boomer leaves behind. I am looking at our dirty bathroom that desperately needs the spots wiped off the mirror. I am here, with all the distractions and everyday demands.
I worked in the restaurant business for over ten years waiting tables and bartending. I am a doer. I never realized how tied together my self-worth and working with my hands were, until now. I have spent hours and hours behind the computer researching online marketing and social media marketing and at the end of the day, I feel absolutely worthless. No one could tell me that’s what would happen. They couldn’t tell me because they didn’t know… I didn’t know.
I quickly went into a slump.
“Is this really what I’m supposed to do with my life? Is this really where I put all my eggs?”
Oh how the doubt rolled in like smoke. It covered my heart, it covered my eyes.
Everything I have been working towards the past six years is now looking so foggy. My soul is not on fire. My soul’s desires feel like a puff of smoke - beautiful to look at or chase, but not something on which to grab.
Art has always made me feel alive. You start with an idea, work the process out, then have a result. Art is magic to me, in any form. Creating something from nothing has intrigued my heart from a young age.
At Christmas I started making ceramic mugs again on the wheel. I could feel life come back into my bones. My hands were busy, my heart was fulfilled. Creating does it for me.
After Christmas my friend and I went to Hobby Lobby in search of our creative needs. I have always loved watercolor paintings, so beginner paints and watercolor paper is what I got. My friend got yarn and a loom.
We get back to our house and we dove right in. She has her loom and I, watercolor. Painting after painting my hands won’t stop. Must. Create. More.
I had wanted another creative outlet. I wanted to spark another hobby that excites my spirit, to allow overflow into DRIFT; the ultimate dream.
See, for me I have to make or do with my hands. Sitting behind a computer most days killed my spirit. That’s why I was constantly looking for things to clean, or rearrange, or fiddle with. I felt more productive on the days I did little for DRIFT than on the days I did the most by reading and learning about marketing.
This process of starting something new, of starting DRIFT, is not only stretching me, it’s allowing me to learn more about how to live - how to bring the most to the table using the gifts I've been given. I was created to work in a specific way. DRIFT is a burning passion in my soul, just like a passion you might have. But if we work in a way that squanders our fire, how easy it is to give up. Dreams take work, that’s nothing new. Sometimes our light gets put out, and we have to fight to keep it alive. Sometimes we don't know how we will react until we step out, until we try.
This watercolor is how I fan the flame.
I let the spark die out and chased the smoke. But now… well you know the rest.
Prone To Wander